Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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