If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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