I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
