yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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