Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize