he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I need to align my fucking chakras
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
