Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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