physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
