You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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