So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
