did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
