I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
