Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
