a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize