Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize