it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
