Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
