My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
