I'm really into asian looking animals
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
