so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize