Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
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