My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
