The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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