You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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