dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
