Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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