I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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