I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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