I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
