So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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