Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
