I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
