i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
