I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
