I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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