addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
