i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
wow bdsm is so cute
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