quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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