Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
