So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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