it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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