I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
