No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
