bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
