so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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