Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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