Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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