I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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