So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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