My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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