he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
