I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
