And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
