I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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