I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
