dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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