Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Randomize
