Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
