True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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