she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
