so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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