At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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