I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
