that's an acceptable place to lick
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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