That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
