Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
