I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
