So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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